Vergil is a bard of exquisite taste and sophistication. Loved by all, he never bears a grudge nor assaults any foe or friend with harsh words; he is always kind and thoughtful. He is also highly intelligent. So intelligent, in fact, that he could write his own biographical data if he so chose. Of course, he would not so choose, for he is too humble of a bard to even consider expounding upon his numerous benevolent personal qualities. Nor, in fact, would he ever fabricate such numerous benevolent personal qualities in the face of an opposite and obvious reality.

Apples, Smoked Meats, Danger, Bears, Long walks on the beach, Peaceful nights by the campfire, Telling tales, Singing songs, Dancing dances, Aerobicing aerobics, Telling the truth, Making puns, Verisimilitude, and Double rainbows

Oranges, Danger, Spies, Wheat, Short walks on the beach, Campfires, Consistency, Telling lies, Headaches, Swords that are evil and talk to you when they shouldn’t because swords aren’t supposed to talk, and Ugly people

Vergil is a dragonborn, tall, dark, and handsome. That said, he is mostly white, stands a God amongst dwarves at around 6’4", and weighs a solid 260 lbs. He is not fat. All dragons and dragon-like humanoids weigh a lot; you can look it up. He is not of surplus avoirdupois. He is also extremely pretty, prettier than any one bard should be. He is so pretty, that sometimes people will look at him and say things to the effect of, “My, how pretty is he,” to which someone else may respond, “So pretty.” He is rarely found without a longsword of sorts, and he appears to be wearing clothes. His clothes also tend to be pretty, and have been known to glow from time to time.

Vergil does not recall much of his past. Several years ago, he simply remembers waking up in an abandoned lab with little memory. What memory he did have was filled with disorganized images of a working, beautiful, dragonborn empire. Ruled by dragonborn. Also, dragonborn were pretty cool then. Since waking up, he joined an Eladrin school of magic to learn the secrets of barding, finding that he had an affinity towards the arcane. He has since become unbelievably successful in the ways of singing and persuasion, especially for money. Because, yes, he made so much money. As well, being a Skald, he has a knack for history and writing poems. However, he was simply too good at making money through his barding skills, so he decided to embark upon an adventure when the opportunity arose, so as to challenge himself more.

Current Opinions of Other Party Members
Frey: Short, not pretty, but not ugly. As far as party members go, Vergil feels that he can trust him. He is useful in combat, though perplexing, as sometimes he simply stands around for lengths of time. Vergil acknowledges his religious tendencies, although Vergil is not a religious man, himself, but he believes that Frey should find better times to pray than in the middle of combat. May be a spy, as he literally transforms into someone else who is probably a spy.

Johnny: Short, not too ugly for a rock. In fact, in terms of looks, Vergil would describe him as rather gneiss. He is generally quiet but acts well when he does speak out. Probably often taken for granite, but appears to be more of quartz. Most likely controls the party through psychic powers. He often acts in the interest of the party, e.g., making sure Vergil does not get stabbed to death by ugly women. Of course, this is in his best interest, as he is controlling the party through psychic, spy-like means. Also, who would want harm to come to Vergil? Well, anyone who does not is a-okay in Vergil’s book. Thus, Johnny is okay. Most definitely a spy, given his mind-controlling powers. Vergil cannot trust him completely, but knows that he is unlikely to turn on the party.

Tiberius: Excessively short, probably a gnome or dwarf. Maybe a halfling, though halflings don’t tend to be that misshapen. Looks like he fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down (Note: The ugly tree is quite tall). He often has trouble with doors and opening them, though his mastery over stairs is unmatched. Has proven to be useful semi-competent in combat, but may slow the team down when it comes time to move to the next room. May also slow the team down when it comes to complex tasks such as talking or thinking basic thoughts. Makes Vergil slightly nervous, as Vergil is convinced that he has regular associations with chickens. Probably not a spy. Spies are smart. Lastly, Vergil trusts Tiberius, though he does not often trust decisions Tiberius makes on his own, given the recent situation with the Tembo.

Floating Disc: Actually a pretty nice guy. Dead, though.

Cube-rt: The epitome of all things gelatinous, Cube-rt is a one of a kind pal. Never could Vergil have asked for a better best friend than Cube-rt. Really good at dissolving things, sometimes, and checking for zombies. His only downfall is that he sometimes gimps Vergil’s style, like when Vergil tries to majestically somersault over counter-tops. But that’s okay, because he’s awesome and Vergil’s best of friends. There is positively no way that Cube-rt could be a spy. Dead.

Barkus: A good man with a strong will. Taught Vergil everything he knows. Also, is now a part of Vergil. May be dead, as Vergil has not heard from him in days. Does Barkus hibernate? No one knows. Or, at least, Vergil does not know, and if Vergil does not know, then no one needs no knowing of that. 1% chance that he is a spy, but most likely not. Vergil would not believe it even if it were true. Essentially dead, but still alive within Vergil, like in any good drama.

Jenna: A small human larva, most likely the spawn of Tiberius. Although it is not yet evident, probably inherited his ugliness and stupidity. For this reason, Vergil has sympathy for Jenna. At the same time, Vergil cannot trust Jenna, for she may kill the entire party unsuspectingly simply by opening a door, if genetics has anything to say about that. Still, Vergil has a soft spot for cubs, so he is kind to her. Deceased. Vergil feels guilty for her death, though he does not speak of it, as he was unable to help her as she was torn by the Tembo, and he feels that it is his job to make sure that everyone makes it through a confrontation in one piece.

Rimmoor: A short guy, ugly. Perhaps as ugly as Tiberius (This is a joke, as such a thing is not physically possible). Vergil does not trust him, although he is almost as useful in combat as Frey, though Vergil suspects that Rimmoor is slightly less useful. Must be a spy, as he infiltrated the group suddenly and put on a show to be kind to everyone. However, must be a bad spy, as he immediately got on Vergil’s bad side, perhaps permanently, for immediately distrusting him from the start.

Mallin: Hates chickens, so he is okay in Vergil’s book. Too senile to be a spy.

Chickens: Bringers of pain and suffering, hell hath no fury like a chicken. Chickens bring the sort of nonsense to the world up with which Vergil simply cannot put. Vergil, in his spare time, has written a few poems about chickens, describing their true natures, for it is rarely seen, the metaphorical innards of a chicken; they are malicious and desire naught but the blood and tears of pretty dragonborn. Never to be trusted. Always to be eaten. Screw chickens. (No Tiberius, that was not a command)


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